10 Thoughts on "Lost" Ending

First of all, MacGruber is easily the funniest movie in years. If you haven't seen it (and there are millions of you fuckers), shame on you. You'll probably find it on DVD four years from now and brag to all your friends that you "discovered" it.

THE FOLLOWING INCLUDES SOME SPOILERS, MOST OF WHICH ARE NOW COMMON KNOWLEDGE. SO THERE.

Why was "The End" the best series finale since "Not Fade Away"? I have fifteen reasons.

1. _______ & Juliet
By now, most people who read this blog are aware of my lustful affection for Elizabeth Mitchell, the only woman who could pull off a busty dress underneath a drab white coat. Thus I am including her here for posterity.

2. The Flashes
Every moment in the past meant something in the Sideways. I especially love that all it took for Sayid to remember was looking into Shannon's face (I also like that her only line is "Sayid").

3. The Meaning
I love that Darlton have gone radio silent, because it allows me to ponder the spiritual significance of everything that has come before, and given that the show has never exactly been secretive in terms of its reverence for faith, it starts the search anew.

4. The Answers
There were none. Absolutely no new information aside from the end occurred in two-and-a-half hours, and last week that would have infuriated me. But after such a cathartic, heartwarming and terrifying event, I'm satisifed with everything I got. The extra mystery just gives it some extra oomph.

5. The Showdown
Has the show ever done something as deliberately badass as Jack and UnLocke's wrestling/stabbing match on the collapsing cliff? No. The answer is no.

6. The Missing
No Widmore. No Pre-UnLocke. No Jacob. This wasn't their story. They helped flesh out the universe in terms of time and motivation, but it still wasn't their story.

7. The Uncertainty
I have never been driven to silence for five straight minutes by anything, much less an episode of television. The combination of extreme euphoria and absolute mortal terror was astounding. For once, my brother and I agreed on every single detail, and once Christian showed everyone The Light, it became a spiritual moment for the viewing audience as well.

8. The Linus
Ben sitting outside on the bench was moving. Locke raising to his feet at Ben's urging and forgiving him was poignant. Ben declining Hurley's invitation into the church? My favorite moment of the entire season.

9. The End (a.k.a. They Beat Me to the Punch)
I referred to the end as terrifying for one reason: it deals in the afterlife. As you may know, I am an atheist. I have been an atheist since I could think lucidly. I will be an atheist until the day I die. But I don't want to be an atheist. I just don't. When I can't sleep at night, all I can think about is the fact that I will die and nothing will happen. Everything I've worked for will be meaningless and I will simply rot. Anytime a medium discusses death I get antsy and sad. But this ending made me feel that way and made me hopeful. And as for the writers beating me to the punch? I'll put it simply: six years ago I plotted out four whole seasons of LunchGroup X. The first detail that came to mind was the last ten minutes of the series finale. And guess what: my ten minutes are nearly identical to their ten minutes. I'm going to have to up my game if I want to survive.

10. The Island
The show has been tricking us ever since the Monster shook the trees in the Pilot. Why don't I care about long-standing Island mysteries gone unresolved? Because I realized that the DHARMA Initiative and The Rules and the Frozen Donkey Wheel are just quirks thrown into story about people who must live together under extraordinary circumstances. If you were paying proper attention, perhaps you felt it too.